Loss is an inevitable part of life. In fact, the more you have the more you stand to lose. This spans the gamut of relationships, jobs, houses, etc. It's natural to experience loss. It's how you deal with loss that can be a true measure of who you are.
Even if you experience loss, you will have more again later. I've had some remarkable relationships that I was sad to see end. However, every time I was able to meet someone even better afterwards. It might not be a week or a month later but it will happen.
You need to learn from your losses. They teach us valuable lessons about what is important to us. Maybe we can do with less. Maybe we will be motived to regain what we lost. The key is to not give up and to continue striving to be the best we can be.
It is often quoted that the overall divorce rate in the US is around 50% (althouth it's probably somewhere between 40 and 50%). Those are dismal odds if you want a marriage that will last. The thing that is not mentioned is that the rate of remarriage is around 60%. People like to couple up. It's human nature. Most people find someone to share their lives with. That should be encouraging.
So, out of any loss comes opportunity. There's opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you want in life. You can learn from your losses but you shouldn't ruminate over them. Make your losses into positives and you will find that the things you had may not have been what was best for you in the first place.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Live in the Moment
We spend most of our time thinking about things that happened and thinking about the future. But to really experience life, we need to be present to the moment. Living in the moment doesn't mean being hedonistic or doing things that will hurt other people and then justifying those actions by saying you are living in the moment. It means taking in what is happening at any given time and appreciating the time you have with people.
When it comes down to it, everything in life is temporary. This makes it even more important to give the present your full attention. We don't have to stop planning for the future or learning from the past. Those things are essential for us to be high-functioning people. But when we ruminate about the past or worry excessively about the future then we really aren't living life to the fullest. It's like being stuck in neutral.
You need to become aware of where your thoughts are to change your focus. If you take care of this day, then the rest will fall into place. You can't live life more than one day at a time. If you don't like what is happening in your life on any given day, then do something about it that day. Waiting to do something will not help. Before you know it, some time will have passed and you will no longer be so concerned about the things you have no control over in your life.
Enjoy everything you do. Enjoy every person you talk to even if they are the clerk at the store. Take time to pet your dog. Live in the moment and all your worries will fade away.
When it comes down to it, everything in life is temporary. This makes it even more important to give the present your full attention. We don't have to stop planning for the future or learning from the past. Those things are essential for us to be high-functioning people. But when we ruminate about the past or worry excessively about the future then we really aren't living life to the fullest. It's like being stuck in neutral.
You need to become aware of where your thoughts are to change your focus. If you take care of this day, then the rest will fall into place. You can't live life more than one day at a time. If you don't like what is happening in your life on any given day, then do something about it that day. Waiting to do something will not help. Before you know it, some time will have passed and you will no longer be so concerned about the things you have no control over in your life.
Enjoy everything you do. Enjoy every person you talk to even if they are the clerk at the store. Take time to pet your dog. Live in the moment and all your worries will fade away.
Be True to Yourself
The "self" is an interesting thing. It's hard to define what it is. It seems to be the sum of our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. It's the part of us that makes us feel like individuals separate from other people. There are different aspects of the self. There's the self that is who we are, the self that we project to other people, and the self that we want to be. Each self would be the same if you are a truly congruous person. However, it's not always that way.
Sometimes we project different things to people so they will view us a certain way. We have our family self, work self, etc. It's probably a good thing to separate those things. You might not want to divulge too much about yourself to your co-workers. The thing is that a wide disparity between these different selves can create problems.
Perhaps the real issue isn't what we project but being aware of who you are. Many people become fixated with who they want to be instead of embracing who they are. Wanting to be different or try new things is okay but you need to start with who you are. Sometimes we change and we are slow to accept that change has happened. That can create stumbling blocks as well.
Here is an example. I was a shy kid but I'm not anymore. I'm still surprised when people tell me that they think I'm outgoing. What I need to do is embrace who I am. Things could be worse. I could still be shy. All I need to do is get my view of my self to match who I really am. I'm just about there with that. It's actually refreshing.
Things are different if you are currently trying to change who you are. You need to look within yourself and examine who you really are first. Then any change in your self will be a positive one. We get into trouble when we try to be someone we aren't. We might be able to sustain those changes for awhile but they won't be a reflection of who we really are. Life is too short. Be true to yourself and you will enjoy life more.
Sometimes we project different things to people so they will view us a certain way. We have our family self, work self, etc. It's probably a good thing to separate those things. You might not want to divulge too much about yourself to your co-workers. The thing is that a wide disparity between these different selves can create problems.
Perhaps the real issue isn't what we project but being aware of who you are. Many people become fixated with who they want to be instead of embracing who they are. Wanting to be different or try new things is okay but you need to start with who you are. Sometimes we change and we are slow to accept that change has happened. That can create stumbling blocks as well.
Here is an example. I was a shy kid but I'm not anymore. I'm still surprised when people tell me that they think I'm outgoing. What I need to do is embrace who I am. Things could be worse. I could still be shy. All I need to do is get my view of my self to match who I really am. I'm just about there with that. It's actually refreshing.
Things are different if you are currently trying to change who you are. You need to look within yourself and examine who you really are first. Then any change in your self will be a positive one. We get into trouble when we try to be someone we aren't. We might be able to sustain those changes for awhile but they won't be a reflection of who we really are. Life is too short. Be true to yourself and you will enjoy life more.
Slow Cooking and Sudden Change
One thing I've learned from dating is that you need to take people as they are. You can't expect them to change. But does that mean that people can't change? Psychologists say that personality becomes relatively stable after the age of 30. Yet, we all experience life changes after that age (birth of a child, divorce, job changes, etc.). We need to be cognitively flexible to deal with these changes. Still, does that mean that we are changing our personalities?
It makes sense that personality should become stable. We'd be erratic and irrational if our personalities changed all the time. Being able to deal with situational things is different from creating lasting changes within ourselves. Or is it? This is the tricky part. We may only be able to change our thoughts about things. Changing our thoughts and perceptions will produce changes in our behavior. Maybe that is the only inner change we can really count on in life.
Perhaps the creative process can shed some light on this issue. Creativity consists of four stages: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. Preparation is the stage where we learn about what we are doing. Incubation is an unconscious process where our thoughts about the subject slosh around in our minds even if we aren't aware of them. Illumination is when we have the "aha" moment that seems like insight came out of nowhere. And lastly, verification is the stage where we decide if our illumination reflects what we originally wanted to do.
Creativity is considered a form of problem solving. As such, this framework can be generalized to other problems in life besides writing a song or a poem. When we are faced with challenges in life, we can prepare for them by talking to people, doing research, etc. Then there is a stage where it seems like nothing is happening. Then suddenly, we have the realization of how we can move on. Change takes time but if we go through these stages we can get there.
For years I wanted to learn to cook. I told myself I didn't have time or that cooking was for other people who learned how to do it when they were younger. Then, one day when I was separated from my ex-wife, I suddenly had the compulsion to stop at the store on the way home from work and get some groceries to cook dinner. And that was the beginning of my learning to cook. In a moment's flash, a lasting life change took place that made me more independent, more self-sufficient, and more confident. It might sound cheesy but that's the way I perceive what happened.
And so the same thing can happen with other issues in your life. Problems might pile up. Unresolved issues might resurface. But when the illumination stage strikes, you are ready for the change in your life. Then it's up to you to run with it. Just remember that your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all integrally related.
Changing your thoughts will change how you feel about something and how you behave. Changing how you feel about something will change how your think about it and what you do in the future. Changing your behavior will change your thoughts and feelings, but maybe only temporarily. Lasting personality change needs be start with your thoughts and feelings - then your behavior will follow suit.
So, if life has gotten you down and it seems like things aren't changing for you, it may be that you are in the incubation stage with what has happened to you. Give yourself a break. People are adaptive and change happens even if it takes time.
It makes sense that personality should become stable. We'd be erratic and irrational if our personalities changed all the time. Being able to deal with situational things is different from creating lasting changes within ourselves. Or is it? This is the tricky part. We may only be able to change our thoughts about things. Changing our thoughts and perceptions will produce changes in our behavior. Maybe that is the only inner change we can really count on in life.
Perhaps the creative process can shed some light on this issue. Creativity consists of four stages: preparation, incubation, illumination, and verification. Preparation is the stage where we learn about what we are doing. Incubation is an unconscious process where our thoughts about the subject slosh around in our minds even if we aren't aware of them. Illumination is when we have the "aha" moment that seems like insight came out of nowhere. And lastly, verification is the stage where we decide if our illumination reflects what we originally wanted to do.
Creativity is considered a form of problem solving. As such, this framework can be generalized to other problems in life besides writing a song or a poem. When we are faced with challenges in life, we can prepare for them by talking to people, doing research, etc. Then there is a stage where it seems like nothing is happening. Then suddenly, we have the realization of how we can move on. Change takes time but if we go through these stages we can get there.
For years I wanted to learn to cook. I told myself I didn't have time or that cooking was for other people who learned how to do it when they were younger. Then, one day when I was separated from my ex-wife, I suddenly had the compulsion to stop at the store on the way home from work and get some groceries to cook dinner. And that was the beginning of my learning to cook. In a moment's flash, a lasting life change took place that made me more independent, more self-sufficient, and more confident. It might sound cheesy but that's the way I perceive what happened.
And so the same thing can happen with other issues in your life. Problems might pile up. Unresolved issues might resurface. But when the illumination stage strikes, you are ready for the change in your life. Then it's up to you to run with it. Just remember that your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all integrally related.
Changing your thoughts will change how you feel about something and how you behave. Changing how you feel about something will change how your think about it and what you do in the future. Changing your behavior will change your thoughts and feelings, but maybe only temporarily. Lasting personality change needs be start with your thoughts and feelings - then your behavior will follow suit.
So, if life has gotten you down and it seems like things aren't changing for you, it may be that you are in the incubation stage with what has happened to you. Give yourself a break. People are adaptive and change happens even if it takes time.
To Act or Not to Act
There are two possible routes decision making can take. We can choose to act or not to act. Sometimes inhibiting behavior is more difficult than initiating it. However, we are continually bombarded by social messages that we should act and not hold back. There is a difference between inhibiting behavior and holding back. This is similar to the common misunderstanding that people have between being assertive and aggressive.
Everything has a time and a place. There are times when we should act and there are times when we should inhibit behavior. It all depends on appropriateness. Determining what is appropriate takes a certain level of maturity.
So, inhibiting behavior is not the same as holding back. You need to consider the situation, the possible consequences, and what is appropriate given all the information you have. Then, if you decide not to act, it isn't holding back. The same approach should be used when we do decide to act. The net result is that our actions (and inactions) will get better results. Our actions will reflect a more responsible thought process.
Everything has a time and a place. There are times when we should act and there are times when we should inhibit behavior. It all depends on appropriateness. Determining what is appropriate takes a certain level of maturity.
So, inhibiting behavior is not the same as holding back. You need to consider the situation, the possible consequences, and what is appropriate given all the information you have. Then, if you decide not to act, it isn't holding back. The same approach should be used when we do decide to act. The net result is that our actions (and inactions) will get better results. Our actions will reflect a more responsible thought process.
Friday, October 30, 2009
The Power of Nine
The date 9/9/09 was a special day. It will be the last time we have a symmetrical date for a very long time (at least a century). We've had a string of these symmetrical dates since the turn of the century (1/1/01, 2/2/02, etc.). The number nine holds special significance to some people. Three is often regarded as a significant number (the trinity, the three wise men, the three pigs, etc.) and nine is three times three. Nine is also the largest single digit number (Why that is supposed to be important I don't really know).
Numerologists say that the number nine is associated with forgiveness, compassion, and success, but also arrogance and self-righteousness (Again, I have no idea why). Mathematically, nine times any number gives you a number that added together gives you nine. September 9 is the 252nd day of the year which if you add together is 9. (Some of what I just mentioned was discussed in an article on Yahoo news called "Why 09/09/09 Is So Special.")
If you take your birthdate and add it together you get your special number according to numerologists. Say your birthdate is May 29, 1983 (5/29/83). You take the 5, then add the 2 and 9 from 29, and the 8 and 3 from 83. So, you get 5 + 11 + 11. That's 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, a person who's birthdate is 5/29/83 has 9 as their special number. (I randomly thought of this birthdate if you were wondering.)
So, what's my number? I was born September 3, 1969 (9/3/69). You add the 9 and the 3, and then the 6 and 9 together from 69. You get 9 + 3 + 15. That's 12 + 15 which is 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, my "special" number is 9. Additionally, September 3 fell during the 36th month of 1969 and 3 + 6 from 36 is 9. Is this all a coincidence or evidence that my life is being guided by some supernatural force?
It sure would be cool if there was some special significance to the day I was born. However, it is estimated that somewhere between 300,000 to 500,000 people are born each day. That means that nearly a half million people share my birthdate. Now my birthdate doesn't seem that unique. Numerology can be fun to play around with but it has no bearing on the outcome of events in your life. Funny, I suddenly feel the urge to play SuDoku and arrange the numbers 1 through 9 in rows and columns...
Numerologists say that the number nine is associated with forgiveness, compassion, and success, but also arrogance and self-righteousness (Again, I have no idea why). Mathematically, nine times any number gives you a number that added together gives you nine. September 9 is the 252nd day of the year which if you add together is 9. (Some of what I just mentioned was discussed in an article on Yahoo news called "Why 09/09/09 Is So Special.")
If you take your birthdate and add it together you get your special number according to numerologists. Say your birthdate is May 29, 1983 (5/29/83). You take the 5, then add the 2 and 9 from 29, and the 8 and 3 from 83. So, you get 5 + 11 + 11. That's 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, a person who's birthdate is 5/29/83 has 9 as their special number. (I randomly thought of this birthdate if you were wondering.)
So, what's my number? I was born September 3, 1969 (9/3/69). You add the 9 and the 3, and then the 6 and 9 together from 69. You get 9 + 3 + 15. That's 12 + 15 which is 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, my "special" number is 9. Additionally, September 3 fell during the 36th month of 1969 and 3 + 6 from 36 is 9. Is this all a coincidence or evidence that my life is being guided by some supernatural force?
It sure would be cool if there was some special significance to the day I was born. However, it is estimated that somewhere between 300,000 to 500,000 people are born each day. That means that nearly a half million people share my birthdate. Now my birthdate doesn't seem that unique. Numerology can be fun to play around with but it has no bearing on the outcome of events in your life. Funny, I suddenly feel the urge to play SuDoku and arrange the numbers 1 through 9 in rows and columns...
Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight
Successful people don’t always win. They face setbacks just like everyone else. The key to success is not to give up. Life isn’t always friendly to us. We all face adversity. The measure of character is how we deal with trials and tribulations. It takes persistence and determination to follow your dreams. It’s easy to give up and take the easy way out. If you set the bar low enough, you will never be disappointed. But if you shoot for the moon you might hit a star and that ain’t bad.
We can all be emotionally and mentally strong. Inner strength takes resolve. It’s a matter of being grounded and figuring out what really matters in your life. Some things are worth pursuing and some things aren’t. You might want to chase dollar signs but there's no guarantee that will make you happy. The things that make you happy don’t have a price tag. That’s what makes life precious.
Every day is an opportunity to be a better person and to make a difference in other people’s lives. Zach Braff said something in the movie The Last Kiss that stuck with me – “You can’t fail if you don’t give up.” This might sound like sentimental wishful dribble but it’s true to a point. If you don’t chase your dreams long enough, you won’t give them a chance to come true. I’m also enough of a realist to admit that you might not always get what you want in life, but you might find that what makes you feel fulfilled is a lot different from what you think you want right now. Our dreams and aspirations change over time. Still, the quote is motivational and we all need encouragement to keep going from time to time.
So, like the Chinese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight” – if you get knocked down an eighth time then you need to find the inner strength to pull yourself up a ninth time and keep on going. Life is a participation sport. The people who keep on going are the ones who make a difference in the long run.
We can all be emotionally and mentally strong. Inner strength takes resolve. It’s a matter of being grounded and figuring out what really matters in your life. Some things are worth pursuing and some things aren’t. You might want to chase dollar signs but there's no guarantee that will make you happy. The things that make you happy don’t have a price tag. That’s what makes life precious.
Every day is an opportunity to be a better person and to make a difference in other people’s lives. Zach Braff said something in the movie The Last Kiss that stuck with me – “You can’t fail if you don’t give up.” This might sound like sentimental wishful dribble but it’s true to a point. If you don’t chase your dreams long enough, you won’t give them a chance to come true. I’m also enough of a realist to admit that you might not always get what you want in life, but you might find that what makes you feel fulfilled is a lot different from what you think you want right now. Our dreams and aspirations change over time. Still, the quote is motivational and we all need encouragement to keep going from time to time.
So, like the Chinese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight” – if you get knocked down an eighth time then you need to find the inner strength to pull yourself up a ninth time and keep on going. Life is a participation sport. The people who keep on going are the ones who make a difference in the long run.
Automatic for the People
Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all interact. This is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy. Basically, if you change your thoughts about something, then you will feel differently about it and you will behave differently as well. The same will happen if you change the way you feel about something or if you change your behavior. The three all interact. Changing your thoughts may be the best place to start. It isn’t that easy though. Why is it so hard to change the way we think about things? There are a number of reasons, but one that stands out is our tendency to invoke automatic thinking.
Automatic thinking is what we do when we don’t want to expend much mental effort. We rely on automatic thinking when we are stressed. Since our mental system is taxed when we feel stress, we take the path of least resistance. This means falling back on ingrained behavioral patterns and habits. Conditioned responses become our first line of defense when we are stressed. These responses may be positive or negative. Slowing down and taking a moment to react would probably be considered a positive response, while flying off the handle and losing control might would be considered a negative response. Our behavior comes as a result of our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change the way we act.
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) are the most damaging automatic thoughts. ANTS result when we say things like “You ALWAYS do such and such…” or “You NEVER remember to …” You need to be careful with these absolute statements. While it might be true that a person does something most of the time, it is highly unlikely that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something. Telling someone that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something can escalate an argument. People will often take ANTS directed at them personally, become defensive, and then communication breaks down.
This brings us to feelings. If you stop and think about why you feel the way you do about something that upsets you, you will find that fear is usually behind your feelings. If someone upsets you, you feel slighted by them. You might feel like you don’t count. That makes you scared. So, it’s natural to lash out with ALWAYS and NEVER statements. However, invoking ANTS won’t solve your problems. If you stop and consider the thoughts behind your feelings, and you eliminate those nasty ANTS, you will find that you can keep your emotions in check better and start responding to people differently. ANTS can create a lot of problems. You will become a more positive person and have better interpersonal relationships if you get rid of them.
Automatic thinking is what we do when we don’t want to expend much mental effort. We rely on automatic thinking when we are stressed. Since our mental system is taxed when we feel stress, we take the path of least resistance. This means falling back on ingrained behavioral patterns and habits. Conditioned responses become our first line of defense when we are stressed. These responses may be positive or negative. Slowing down and taking a moment to react would probably be considered a positive response, while flying off the handle and losing control might would be considered a negative response. Our behavior comes as a result of our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change the way we act.
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) are the most damaging automatic thoughts. ANTS result when we say things like “You ALWAYS do such and such…” or “You NEVER remember to …” You need to be careful with these absolute statements. While it might be true that a person does something most of the time, it is highly unlikely that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something. Telling someone that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something can escalate an argument. People will often take ANTS directed at them personally, become defensive, and then communication breaks down.
This brings us to feelings. If you stop and think about why you feel the way you do about something that upsets you, you will find that fear is usually behind your feelings. If someone upsets you, you feel slighted by them. You might feel like you don’t count. That makes you scared. So, it’s natural to lash out with ALWAYS and NEVER statements. However, invoking ANTS won’t solve your problems. If you stop and consider the thoughts behind your feelings, and you eliminate those nasty ANTS, you will find that you can keep your emotions in check better and start responding to people differently. ANTS can create a lot of problems. You will become a more positive person and have better interpersonal relationships if you get rid of them.
Light's On, Nobody's Home
Are you conscious right now? What about a second ago? Consciousness is a weird thing. It’s something that most people probably don’t pay attention to much. It enables us to do all the things we do. We use consciousness when we see, feel, talk, think, wish, and wonder but a lot of the time we aren’t even aware of it. If you stop and ask yourself if you are conscious you will inevitably say you are. But what about the moment before you asked? Were you conscious then?
This all brings into question how aware we are of our lives. We can drive to the store and think about other things while we are driving. Then, instead of driving to the store, we automatically take the road that leads us home. How does this happens? Aren’t we in control of our actions? Clearly, consciousness can be divided and altered but there’s still somebody at home inside, right? Right???
Well, let’s see… Say you open your refrigerator door. The light turns on when you open the door. Then you close the door. What happens to the light after the door is closed? Does the light turn off or does it stay on? So you try opening the door real quick. Maybe you can catch the light off. You do it real fast. The light is on. Now you close the door again. Is the light still on? Quick! Open the door! The light is on. You could do this all day. One of these times you will catch the light off. Or will you?
Now, a clever person might say that you could check to see whether the light goes off by installing a video camera inside the refrigerator, but that’s not the intent of what I’m talking about here. Opening the door to check if the light is on is the same as asking yourself if you are conscious. You ask yourself, “Am I conscious?” You tell yourself, “Yes I am.” Every time you ask and answer you confirm that you are conscious. This is all good but what about when you aren’t asking the question? Are you conscious then?
It is in this way that consciousness is an illusion. We don’t often pay much attention to what we are doing. We go on automatic pilot. We go through the motions of our lives. This might lead you to ask who is calling the shots if you can do things with such little awareness. Are you in control of what you do? (for more on this, see my previous blog called "Who’s Calling the Shots?"). To alleviate this situation, we can take a cue from Zen Buddhism.
Zen Buddhism suggests that living optimally means being present to the moment. This means taking in what you are doing at a particular time without thinking about something you did in the past or something you want to do in the future. Just being in the moment. Let go of the past and don’t fret about the future. By living in the moment, you will be aware that “your light is on,” that you are conscious. The problem is that this kind of awareness doesn’t come naturally.
We can become more aware just by reminding ourselves during the day to be more aware. We can slow down and notice the little things. We can even become more aware through meditation. Consciousness is amazing, but it has a cost. The cost is that we don't like to expend much mental effort. So, we “turn the light off” when the door is closed. The only way to counter this is to be present to the moment. Are you conscious now?
This all brings into question how aware we are of our lives. We can drive to the store and think about other things while we are driving. Then, instead of driving to the store, we automatically take the road that leads us home. How does this happens? Aren’t we in control of our actions? Clearly, consciousness can be divided and altered but there’s still somebody at home inside, right? Right???
Well, let’s see… Say you open your refrigerator door. The light turns on when you open the door. Then you close the door. What happens to the light after the door is closed? Does the light turn off or does it stay on? So you try opening the door real quick. Maybe you can catch the light off. You do it real fast. The light is on. Now you close the door again. Is the light still on? Quick! Open the door! The light is on. You could do this all day. One of these times you will catch the light off. Or will you?
Now, a clever person might say that you could check to see whether the light goes off by installing a video camera inside the refrigerator, but that’s not the intent of what I’m talking about here. Opening the door to check if the light is on is the same as asking yourself if you are conscious. You ask yourself, “Am I conscious?” You tell yourself, “Yes I am.” Every time you ask and answer you confirm that you are conscious. This is all good but what about when you aren’t asking the question? Are you conscious then?
It is in this way that consciousness is an illusion. We don’t often pay much attention to what we are doing. We go on automatic pilot. We go through the motions of our lives. This might lead you to ask who is calling the shots if you can do things with such little awareness. Are you in control of what you do? (for more on this, see my previous blog called "Who’s Calling the Shots?"). To alleviate this situation, we can take a cue from Zen Buddhism.
Zen Buddhism suggests that living optimally means being present to the moment. This means taking in what you are doing at a particular time without thinking about something you did in the past or something you want to do in the future. Just being in the moment. Let go of the past and don’t fret about the future. By living in the moment, you will be aware that “your light is on,” that you are conscious. The problem is that this kind of awareness doesn’t come naturally.
We can become more aware just by reminding ourselves during the day to be more aware. We can slow down and notice the little things. We can even become more aware through meditation. Consciousness is amazing, but it has a cost. The cost is that we don't like to expend much mental effort. So, we “turn the light off” when the door is closed. The only way to counter this is to be present to the moment. Are you conscious now?
Based on a True Story
From time to time you will see a movie that is supposed to be based on true stories. Some horror movies that claim to be based on true events include The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror, The Entity, An American Haunting, and The Haunting in Connecticut. However, the validity of these stories is disputed. Most of them are based on anecdotal evidence. There’s a big difference between a movie being based on a “true story” and one that is based on something that really happened. Huh? Doesn’t "true" mean it actually happened? Not necessarily.
Any story can be considered a “true” story because it’s a story. It's a story someone read or heard about. Whether the events in the story actually happened is another matter entirely. Hollywood doesn’t say “Based on a True, Verifiable, Documented, Undisputable Story” because they could get in legal trouble.
There have been a number of horror movies loosely based on the lives of serial killers. That’s one thing. Those movies take actual people and fashion stories about them. Movies based on supposed demon possessions or hauntings are another matter. Wes Craven reportedly based A Nightmare on Elm Street on a story he read about Samoan kids who had bad nightmares and supposedly died from heart failure as a result of sleep deprivation. Even if that story is true, it sure doesn’t make Feddy Krueger real. It doesn’t mean that evil spirits can taunt you and torture you in your dreams.
Movies that are “inspired” by actual events are just that, they are only inspired by them. Anyone can put the tag “Based on a True Story” or “Inspired by Actual Events” at the beginning of a movie. These tags in no way mean that the movie you see is a detail by detail re-telling of an actual event. It’s Hollywood people. Hollywood isn’t interested in making documentaries that show both sides of an issue (and neither is Michael Moore for that matter). Hollywood is peddling entertainment. The producers, directors, writers, etc. want people to see these movies so they can all get rich and have expensive beach houses in Malibu.
While I was writing this blog, I read some forum postings on a few movie review sites about horror movies “based on a true story.” The people who challenged the idea that exorcisms, hauntings, and paranormal activities really happen were told they were too skeptical. One guy kept saying that he saw a ghost so that proves that the hauntings in these movies were factual. First, you can never be too skeptical when it comes to the verifying whether some supernatural thing happened or not. If we are seeking the truth, then skepticism should be encouraged, not disparaged. Secondly, even if someone saw an actual ghost, that in no way proves that all the hauntings shown in movies are based on fact. You can’t generalize from one instance.
The real problem with saying that since you saw a ghost means that ghosts exist is that it’s anecdotal. I could say I saw there’s a three-headed monster in my closet but you don’t know if I’m telling the truth or not. If you insist on seeing the three-headed monster, I could say that it’s invisible and only I can see it. Even if the three-headed monster really did exist, it isn’t proof for the existence of four-headed monsters, ghosts, demon possession, foretelling the future, or any other wild paranormal claim. Be smart people. The next time you see a horror movie that has the tag “Based on a True Story” at the beginning, just know that it may have been based on a story someone read or heard about, but that’s where truth and fact end for the next 90 minutes.
Any story can be considered a “true” story because it’s a story. It's a story someone read or heard about. Whether the events in the story actually happened is another matter entirely. Hollywood doesn’t say “Based on a True, Verifiable, Documented, Undisputable Story” because they could get in legal trouble.
There have been a number of horror movies loosely based on the lives of serial killers. That’s one thing. Those movies take actual people and fashion stories about them. Movies based on supposed demon possessions or hauntings are another matter. Wes Craven reportedly based A Nightmare on Elm Street on a story he read about Samoan kids who had bad nightmares and supposedly died from heart failure as a result of sleep deprivation. Even if that story is true, it sure doesn’t make Feddy Krueger real. It doesn’t mean that evil spirits can taunt you and torture you in your dreams.
Movies that are “inspired” by actual events are just that, they are only inspired by them. Anyone can put the tag “Based on a True Story” or “Inspired by Actual Events” at the beginning of a movie. These tags in no way mean that the movie you see is a detail by detail re-telling of an actual event. It’s Hollywood people. Hollywood isn’t interested in making documentaries that show both sides of an issue (and neither is Michael Moore for that matter). Hollywood is peddling entertainment. The producers, directors, writers, etc. want people to see these movies so they can all get rich and have expensive beach houses in Malibu.
While I was writing this blog, I read some forum postings on a few movie review sites about horror movies “based on a true story.” The people who challenged the idea that exorcisms, hauntings, and paranormal activities really happen were told they were too skeptical. One guy kept saying that he saw a ghost so that proves that the hauntings in these movies were factual. First, you can never be too skeptical when it comes to the verifying whether some supernatural thing happened or not. If we are seeking the truth, then skepticism should be encouraged, not disparaged. Secondly, even if someone saw an actual ghost, that in no way proves that all the hauntings shown in movies are based on fact. You can’t generalize from one instance.
The real problem with saying that since you saw a ghost means that ghosts exist is that it’s anecdotal. I could say I saw there’s a three-headed monster in my closet but you don’t know if I’m telling the truth or not. If you insist on seeing the three-headed monster, I could say that it’s invisible and only I can see it. Even if the three-headed monster really did exist, it isn’t proof for the existence of four-headed monsters, ghosts, demon possession, foretelling the future, or any other wild paranormal claim. Be smart people. The next time you see a horror movie that has the tag “Based on a True Story” at the beginning, just know that it may have been based on a story someone read or heard about, but that’s where truth and fact end for the next 90 minutes.
What Comes Around
Awhile ago I wrote a blog called the Karma Connection. This is a sequel to that one.
Sometimes when somebody does something bad to us we say that they are going to get theirs. We like to think that what comes around goes around. That makes us feel better. There really is no guarantee that someone will get their comeuppance. It’s like gambling. If you cheat someone and get away with it, that doesn’t mean you will get away with it a second time. Sure, if someone keeps cheating, it seems like they will eventually get caught, but the fact remains that each event is statistically mutually exclusive. This means that the probability of getting caught each time is independent of the last time they cheated someone. The things that normally bring somebody down are sloppy behavior and a big mouth.
You can’t control other people’s behavior. If someone blabs, another person may decide they want to even the score. That’s something a scammer can’t control. The bottom line is that most people who habitually lie, cheat, and steal eventually get sloppy and that’s what brings them down. It’s not that intelligent people don’t lie, cheat, and steal. Some of them do these things very well. It’s the hubris, pride, and arrogance of scammers that leads to their demise. A lot of these folks are proud of their behavior and they let other people know about it. Professional cheats and grift artists know that they need to keep a low profile. That means keeping their mouth shut.
Anyway, the intent of this blog isn’t to instruct you how to cheat people – it’s to get across the idea that some people will get caught and some people won’t. The mental state of scammers is also something to consider. A lot of them are extremely narcissistic. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s not their fault that they take advantage of other people. They are victims themselves. You’ve probably run across people like this. The belief that guilt will get to them is unfounded. These folks have such intricate defense mechanisms that years of therapy might not even break down their web of rationalizations.
So, the idea that what goes around comes around may not hold for all people. Some people may not get caught. Wishing that these people will wake up one day with remorse in their hearts is also unfounded. These folks are so mentally convoluted that guilt and shame may never pentrate their psyches. We would be better off learning how to avoid predatory people. We should learn from our experiences, forget these crummy people, move on, and not look back. Sure, it feels good to see scammers “get theirs” but they aren’t even worth the time of day. They may get theirs but by that time you will be on with your life, being a better and stronger person. That’s something worth putting thought and effort into instead of wishing bad karma on lowlife people.
Sometimes when somebody does something bad to us we say that they are going to get theirs. We like to think that what comes around goes around. That makes us feel better. There really is no guarantee that someone will get their comeuppance. It’s like gambling. If you cheat someone and get away with it, that doesn’t mean you will get away with it a second time. Sure, if someone keeps cheating, it seems like they will eventually get caught, but the fact remains that each event is statistically mutually exclusive. This means that the probability of getting caught each time is independent of the last time they cheated someone. The things that normally bring somebody down are sloppy behavior and a big mouth.
You can’t control other people’s behavior. If someone blabs, another person may decide they want to even the score. That’s something a scammer can’t control. The bottom line is that most people who habitually lie, cheat, and steal eventually get sloppy and that’s what brings them down. It’s not that intelligent people don’t lie, cheat, and steal. Some of them do these things very well. It’s the hubris, pride, and arrogance of scammers that leads to their demise. A lot of these folks are proud of their behavior and they let other people know about it. Professional cheats and grift artists know that they need to keep a low profile. That means keeping their mouth shut.
Anyway, the intent of this blog isn’t to instruct you how to cheat people – it’s to get across the idea that some people will get caught and some people won’t. The mental state of scammers is also something to consider. A lot of them are extremely narcissistic. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s not their fault that they take advantage of other people. They are victims themselves. You’ve probably run across people like this. The belief that guilt will get to them is unfounded. These folks have such intricate defense mechanisms that years of therapy might not even break down their web of rationalizations.
So, the idea that what goes around comes around may not hold for all people. Some people may not get caught. Wishing that these people will wake up one day with remorse in their hearts is also unfounded. These folks are so mentally convoluted that guilt and shame may never pentrate their psyches. We would be better off learning how to avoid predatory people. We should learn from our experiences, forget these crummy people, move on, and not look back. Sure, it feels good to see scammers “get theirs” but they aren’t even worth the time of day. They may get theirs but by that time you will be on with your life, being a better and stronger person. That’s something worth putting thought and effort into instead of wishing bad karma on lowlife people.
Tips of the Slung
Sometimes when we talk the letters or syllables of our words get swapped. We might say something like “tips of the slung” instead of “slips of the tongue.” This kind of spoken slip up is called a spoonerism. It was named after Reverand William Spooner who reportedly made many of these speech errors during his sermons. People who speak languages other than English also make spoonerisms. What causes us to make spoonerisms?
Human speech production occurs at a rate of about 150 words per minute. Speech errors, such as spoonerisms, occur about once in one-thousand words uttered. Given the speed of speech, it is remarkable that we don’t make more speech errors. Linguists think that spoonerisms are caused by a breakdown in two linguistic sequencing processors, a phoneme processor and a word processor. Phonemes are the smallest units of sound in language, typically single vowels or consonants. The phoneme processor’s job is to assign the correct letters to words. Sometimes the phoneme processor transposes the first letters of a string of words which results in a spoonerism.
We aren’t exactly sure why spoonerisms happen yet. They might happen from speech processing fatigue or lapses in attention. Future research will hopefully shed light on what causes the phoneme processor to make mistakes. Although spoonerisms occur naturally, people sometimes use them intentionally for comic effect. You might say “I'm going to shake a tower” instead of "I'm going to take a shower" or “My sips are lealed” instead of "My lips are sealed." On that note, pass me the valted minegar for my chish and fips…
Human speech production occurs at a rate of about 150 words per minute. Speech errors, such as spoonerisms, occur about once in one-thousand words uttered. Given the speed of speech, it is remarkable that we don’t make more speech errors. Linguists think that spoonerisms are caused by a breakdown in two linguistic sequencing processors, a phoneme processor and a word processor. Phonemes are the smallest units of sound in language, typically single vowels or consonants. The phoneme processor’s job is to assign the correct letters to words. Sometimes the phoneme processor transposes the first letters of a string of words which results in a spoonerism.
We aren’t exactly sure why spoonerisms happen yet. They might happen from speech processing fatigue or lapses in attention. Future research will hopefully shed light on what causes the phoneme processor to make mistakes. Although spoonerisms occur naturally, people sometimes use them intentionally for comic effect. You might say “I'm going to shake a tower” instead of "I'm going to take a shower" or “My sips are lealed” instead of "My lips are sealed." On that note, pass me the valted minegar for my chish and fips…
Making Brown Eyes Blue
I’ve noticed in my discussions with people that simple concepts of heredity and genetics are poorly understood. Here are some basics. Any given trait can be dominant or recessive. Dominant genes will physically manifest any time they are present, including when they are paired with a recessive gene. A recessive gene will only be physically manifested if it is paired with another recessive gene. Additionally, there are three basic scenarios. Each parent can contribute a dominant gene, each can contribute a recessive gene, or one can contribute a dominant gene and the other can contribute a recessive gene. Let’s look at eye color as a simple example. In this case, the brown eye gene is dominant and the blue eye gene is recessive.
Each person gets an eye color gene from their mother and one from their father. If mom has two brown eye genes (one from her mom and dad) and dad has two brown eye genes (one from his mom and dad), then all their kids will have brown eyes. If mom has two brown genes and dad has two blue eye genes, then all their kids will have brown eyes since the dominant gene will always be present. If mom has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene and dad has two brown eye genes, all their kids will again have brown eyes. If mom has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, and dad has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, their kids will have a 25% chance of having blue eyes. If mom has two blue eye genes and dad has a brown and a blue eye gene, their kids now have a 50% chance of having blue eyes. Lastly, if mom has two blue eye genes and dad has two blue eye genes, all their kids will have blues eyes.
This is how simple genetics work. However, it is actually possible that two blue eyed parents can have a brown eyed kid because eye color is polygenic meaning that several genes interact to determine eye color. Still, the likelihood of two blue eyed parents having a brown eyed child is very small and so in most cases the basic model still applies.
Hopefully this clears up some misunderstandings about basic genetics. When you hear people say something like “How did two right handed parents have a left handed kid?” (or whatever trait they are talking about), you will know that each of the kid’s parents had both the dominant and recessive genes for the trait and they each contributed the recessive gene. Now, that’s an idea worth passing on.
Each person gets an eye color gene from their mother and one from their father. If mom has two brown eye genes (one from her mom and dad) and dad has two brown eye genes (one from his mom and dad), then all their kids will have brown eyes. If mom has two brown genes and dad has two blue eye genes, then all their kids will have brown eyes since the dominant gene will always be present. If mom has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene and dad has two brown eye genes, all their kids will again have brown eyes. If mom has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, and dad has a brown eye gene and a blue eye gene, their kids will have a 25% chance of having blue eyes. If mom has two blue eye genes and dad has a brown and a blue eye gene, their kids now have a 50% chance of having blue eyes. Lastly, if mom has two blue eye genes and dad has two blue eye genes, all their kids will have blues eyes.
This is how simple genetics work. However, it is actually possible that two blue eyed parents can have a brown eyed kid because eye color is polygenic meaning that several genes interact to determine eye color. Still, the likelihood of two blue eyed parents having a brown eyed child is very small and so in most cases the basic model still applies.
Hopefully this clears up some misunderstandings about basic genetics. When you hear people say something like “How did two right handed parents have a left handed kid?” (or whatever trait they are talking about), you will know that each of the kid’s parents had both the dominant and recessive genes for the trait and they each contributed the recessive gene. Now, that’s an idea worth passing on.
Fear Not
Fear is one of those things that can really hamper people. Fear of not knowing how things are going to turn out can keep you from taking action. Fear of the “unknown” can be difficult to handle. Fear of failure can prevent you from taking chances. In some ways, conquering fear may be the real key to success in life. But what would it be like if you didn’t have any fear at all? Some recent studies shed light on this question.
A structure in the mammalian brain called the amygdala is active when you are afraid. The amygdala is also active when you are angry. So, fear and anger are pretty much physiologically identical. If the medial amygdala (middle of it) is destroyed, an animal will be put in a hyper vigilant fear state. The animal would be scared of its own shadow. However, if the lateral amygdala (side of it) is destroyed, an animal will basically lose its ability to be afraid. This has been shown in numerous experiments with rats. For obvious reasons, this kind of research is unethical to perform on humans.
What happens when an animal loses its ability to be afraid? Rats that were afraid of heights ran elevated mazes that they would normally avoid. Some of them fell and injured themselves. Small rats that would normally cower to larger rats would pick fights with them. Many of these rats got hurt. You have to be careful generalizing from animal studies to humans, but the results suggest that the absence of fear can lead to taking unnecessarily dangerous risks.
A little fear is a good thing if the object of our fear is a realistic danger. This is similar to the idea that a little stress can be good for you because it can be a motivator. It’s when fear and stress interfere and cause us to limit our actions that we have a problem. If you have such a fear of heights that being in a two or three story building gives you a panic attack, that can be a big problem. But fear of heights can be a good thing at other times. If you get too far off the ground, you can fall and hurt yourself (or worse!). Jumping out of an airplane might be a rush but we need to give ourselves a break if we are too afraid to do that. We need to keep things in perspective. Some fear is okay. In some cases, it might end up prolonging our lives.
A structure in the mammalian brain called the amygdala is active when you are afraid. The amygdala is also active when you are angry. So, fear and anger are pretty much physiologically identical. If the medial amygdala (middle of it) is destroyed, an animal will be put in a hyper vigilant fear state. The animal would be scared of its own shadow. However, if the lateral amygdala (side of it) is destroyed, an animal will basically lose its ability to be afraid. This has been shown in numerous experiments with rats. For obvious reasons, this kind of research is unethical to perform on humans.
What happens when an animal loses its ability to be afraid? Rats that were afraid of heights ran elevated mazes that they would normally avoid. Some of them fell and injured themselves. Small rats that would normally cower to larger rats would pick fights with them. Many of these rats got hurt. You have to be careful generalizing from animal studies to humans, but the results suggest that the absence of fear can lead to taking unnecessarily dangerous risks.
A little fear is a good thing if the object of our fear is a realistic danger. This is similar to the idea that a little stress can be good for you because it can be a motivator. It’s when fear and stress interfere and cause us to limit our actions that we have a problem. If you have such a fear of heights that being in a two or three story building gives you a panic attack, that can be a big problem. But fear of heights can be a good thing at other times. If you get too far off the ground, you can fall and hurt yourself (or worse!). Jumping out of an airplane might be a rush but we need to give ourselves a break if we are too afraid to do that. We need to keep things in perspective. Some fear is okay. In some cases, it might end up prolonging our lives.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
The Rainbow Ruse
If you look up the word “ruse” in the dictionary you get definitions such as “a crafty strategem or subterfuge.” You will also see definitions like “an action or plan intended to deceive someone.” So, basically you have a strategy that you can use to mislead someone. An example would be for an adversary to purposely leak out false information during times of war. Another example would be spreading false rumors about somebody to further yourself. People who claim to be psychics use a method called cold reading to get information from people to make their readings seem accurate. The rainbow ruse is a commonly used cold reading technique used to extract information from people.
Here is how it goes. You start off by saying something very general about a personality trait that probably applies to a lot of people (one side of the rainbow). Then you say the opposite thing (the other side of the rainbow). One part of the rainbow will most likely apply to you. Curiously, people tend to overlook the part that doesn’t apply to them because they are taken by the seeming accuracy of the other part. It’s a kind of selective bias we have. Cold readers are aware of this bias and exploit your feedback to continue their reading.
Here are some examples:You are a talented and creative person, however most people don’t appreciate your talents. You like quiet evenings at home but sometimes you like to cut loose and be the life of the party. You are good at what you do and put yourself into your work but sometimes you like to get away and play like a kid. You are pleasant and easy going, but you sometimes get angry when somebody wrongs you.
You get the idea. The rainbow ruse opens the door for so-called psychics and fortune tellers. The feedback you provide gives them ideas for how to continue the reading. The best way to derail a so-called psychic is to not give them feedback. If they ask you questions, tell them you thought the idea was that you were supposed to ask the questions. If they use the rainbow ruse, say something to the effect that what they just said contradicts itself. The best way not to get hoodwinked by a so-called psychic is to just avoid them. But you never know, one of those psychics might really have the gift. At times you are very discerning and evaluate things before you make a decision, but at other times you are very impulsive and throw caution to the wind…
Here is how it goes. You start off by saying something very general about a personality trait that probably applies to a lot of people (one side of the rainbow). Then you say the opposite thing (the other side of the rainbow). One part of the rainbow will most likely apply to you. Curiously, people tend to overlook the part that doesn’t apply to them because they are taken by the seeming accuracy of the other part. It’s a kind of selective bias we have. Cold readers are aware of this bias and exploit your feedback to continue their reading.
Here are some examples:You are a talented and creative person, however most people don’t appreciate your talents. You like quiet evenings at home but sometimes you like to cut loose and be the life of the party. You are good at what you do and put yourself into your work but sometimes you like to get away and play like a kid. You are pleasant and easy going, but you sometimes get angry when somebody wrongs you.
You get the idea. The rainbow ruse opens the door for so-called psychics and fortune tellers. The feedback you provide gives them ideas for how to continue the reading. The best way to derail a so-called psychic is to not give them feedback. If they ask you questions, tell them you thought the idea was that you were supposed to ask the questions. If they use the rainbow ruse, say something to the effect that what they just said contradicts itself. The best way not to get hoodwinked by a so-called psychic is to just avoid them. But you never know, one of those psychics might really have the gift. At times you are very discerning and evaluate things before you make a decision, but at other times you are very impulsive and throw caution to the wind…
Driven to Distraction
Attention deficit disorder (ADD) is reaching epidemic proportions these days. It’s common to see kids diagnosed with it at early ages. Medications are routinely prescribed to treat it. Every semester students approach me and tell me that if they have trouble in my class it’s because they have ADD. It isn’t just the younger students who tell me this either. Older students tell me about their struggles with ADD, too. So, what’s going on here? Why is ADD showing up so much now?
There are two factors we need to look at when considering why ADD is so common now. The first factor is how the problem is diagnosed. Currently, there are no blood tests to diagnose the problem. Brain scans do show notable differences in the frontal cortex but they are not used very often to diagnose ADD because they cost too much. Instead, clinicians rely on the observations of parents and teachers. This has created a situation where the disorder might be diagnosed too often. So what can parents do?
Parents need to have an open dialogue with their child’s physician and/or therapist. Seek a second opinion if you aren't sure your kid has ADD. Medication might not always be the best option either. Try to keep your kid on a routine sleep schedule and a decent diet. It's also a good idea to keep them active instead of letting them play video games and watch television all the time. That said, try not to over-schedule their daily activities. Kids need down time where they can relax and just be kids. Too many obligations early on may overwhelm a child who is prone to ADD, which brings up the second factor I wanted to mention – culture.
Modern culture is getting faster and faster. We can chat, text, tweet, and get instant gratification. We are told that we need to multi-task. We need to be doing things constantly. We put a high value on these things. The fast pace of modern society and the pressure to constantly multi-task has created a situation ripe for the spread of a cultural type of ADD. I'm not alone in these convictions either. Other social scientists and educators have warned that modern culture promotes ADD.
So, what can we do as a society? Well, first there are no mental free lunches. Every time we multi-task we split our attentional resources between two or more things. Sometimes this is not a problem. At other times, one of the tasks will suffer dramatically. We should allow ourselves to do one thing at a time more often. Along these lines, we should encourage activities like reading or playing a musical instrument that keep our attention and mental resources focused for an extended amount of time. If we slow down, do less multi-tasking, and learn how and when to focus our mental resources, we might find that fewer people are being diagnosed as having ADD.
There are two factors we need to look at when considering why ADD is so common now. The first factor is how the problem is diagnosed. Currently, there are no blood tests to diagnose the problem. Brain scans do show notable differences in the frontal cortex but they are not used very often to diagnose ADD because they cost too much. Instead, clinicians rely on the observations of parents and teachers. This has created a situation where the disorder might be diagnosed too often. So what can parents do?
Parents need to have an open dialogue with their child’s physician and/or therapist. Seek a second opinion if you aren't sure your kid has ADD. Medication might not always be the best option either. Try to keep your kid on a routine sleep schedule and a decent diet. It's also a good idea to keep them active instead of letting them play video games and watch television all the time. That said, try not to over-schedule their daily activities. Kids need down time where they can relax and just be kids. Too many obligations early on may overwhelm a child who is prone to ADD, which brings up the second factor I wanted to mention – culture.
Modern culture is getting faster and faster. We can chat, text, tweet, and get instant gratification. We are told that we need to multi-task. We need to be doing things constantly. We put a high value on these things. The fast pace of modern society and the pressure to constantly multi-task has created a situation ripe for the spread of a cultural type of ADD. I'm not alone in these convictions either. Other social scientists and educators have warned that modern culture promotes ADD.
So, what can we do as a society? Well, first there are no mental free lunches. Every time we multi-task we split our attentional resources between two or more things. Sometimes this is not a problem. At other times, one of the tasks will suffer dramatically. We should allow ourselves to do one thing at a time more often. Along these lines, we should encourage activities like reading or playing a musical instrument that keep our attention and mental resources focused for an extended amount of time. If we slow down, do less multi-tasking, and learn how and when to focus our mental resources, we might find that fewer people are being diagnosed as having ADD.
Why Is the Sky Blue?
Someone I knew used to say that the sky is blue because that is the color of light reflected off the oceans. That’s an interesting explanation but the actual reason is something called “Raleigh scattering.” The visible spectrum of light includes long wavelengths (seen as orange and red), medium wavelengths (seen as green) and short wavelengths (seen as blue). Light moves in a straight line as long as nothing disturbs it. When light passes through the Earth’s atmosphere, it keeps moving in a straight line until it bumps into a dust particle or a gas molecule. The long and medium wavelengths of light can pass straight through the atmosphere unaffected. However, the shorter wavelengths collide with gas molecules in the air. These collisions scatter the short wavelengths in different directions. We end up seeing the sky as the same color of light that was scattered. Since we see short wavelength light as blue, we see the sky as blue.
You Must Remember This
Anyone who has ever seen the movie Casablanca with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman has heard the song As Time Goes By. One of the best parts of the song is the stanza that goes “You must remember this. A kiss is just a kiss, a sigh is just a sigh. The fundamental things apply as time goes by…” It sure sounds romantic. The song makes you think about that special love you once had. But what if you couldn’t forget things? I mean, what if the song went more like “You must remember this. Every detail of every day is etched in your mind. You can’t bear to remember more since you can’t forget a thing as time goes by…”
Okay, this was quite an introduction for what I want to talk about today. There’s something called hyperthymesia that some people experience where they can’t forget things. At first, this might not seem like a problem but imagine what life would be like if you couldn’t forget things – ever! So far, only a few people have been identified who have confirmed cases of hyperthymesia. They can tell you encyclopedic details about what happened on a single day that was years or even decades ago. Some people have called them “human Googles.”
We don’t know what causes hyperthymesia yet but it probably involves a brain structure called the hippocampus. The hippocampus functions like a memory indexer. When a memory is formed, the hippocampus sends it out to other parts of the brain where we access it later. Normally we only remember things that are meaningful or personally relevant to us. Hyperthymesia might turn out to be the result of overactive memory indexing that records details of everything a person experiences.
In any case, there will inevitably be a biological cause for hyperthymesia. Understanding the cause of hyperthymesia could lead to treatments that could help people improve their memories. This is an exciting prospect. However, think a minute about what it would be like not to forget anything. One woman who has hyperthymesia has suffered from phobias and depression all her life because she is afraid to do things for fear of overloading her mind. We might all want to have better memories but normal forgetting is okay. Forgetting helps us clear out the clutter in our minds and lets us focus on important things instead of what we had for breakfast on six weeks ago!
Pure Energy
What is energy? According to physicists, energy is the capacity for something to do work and work is the transfer of energy to move an object a certain distance. They describe two kinds of energy - potential and kinetic. Potential energy is stored energy. Kinetic energy is the release of potential energy to create motion. Energy has six different forms which are electrical, thermal, chemical, radiant, mechanical, and nuclear. Whew! That's a lot of stuff. So, where is the energy that new age spiritualists and healers claim to exist? That’s a good question. Let’s see if we can find it.
Energy, according to new age spiritualists, is a universal force that you can tap into. It creates energy fields and it can be balanced. It stems from auras that surround our bodies. These aura can be cleansed. This energy is believed to be the source of life, but it isn’t the kind of energy that physicists describe. Basically, new age practitioners have co-opted the word “energy” for their own use. And for some reason, this kind of energy isn’t measurable by an known scientific instrument. It’s everywhere but scientists can’t detect it. Think about this a minute. If we can’t detect this energy, how do we know that it’s there?
Energy is a key component in many pseudoscience practices such as aura therapy, reiki, rolfing, reflexology, and therapeutic touch. A pseudoscience is something that sounds scientific but isn’t. These practices draw on scientific terms to make them appear valid. Many concepts in science aren’t very well understood even by smart people. If a pseudoscience uses scientific jargon, it must be complicated and it must be real. Let’s go back to our example of energy. Energy is an important concept in physics. If a pseudoscience practitioner refers to a mystical vital energy then it must be real. However, as mentioned earlier, energy is the capacity to do work and it is neither positive nor negative.
After all this discussion, a new age advocate might concede that their practices aren’t meant to be scientific. Then they will say that there’s nothing wrong with believing in these things if they make a person feel good. I don’t agree with that statement. People will often turn to alternative medicines and new age techniques when they are in distress. If these techniques don’t work, then the person’s time would be better used pursuing other treatments. Not to mention, the new age practitioners are making money on their services, books, and videos.
I’d like to wrap this up by telling you about a student I had when I began teaching. She told me a story about what happened when she first discovered she had major depression. She told me how she was severely depressed and didn’t think her life had any direction. Because of her distrust in traditional medicine, she decided to visit a new age practitioner and have her “aura cleansed.” The aura cleansing didn’t do anything for her. Her depression worsened and she ended up attempting suicide. After that, her family got her into psychotherapy along with medication and she started to improve. I’m not sure how she’s doing now, but having her aura cleansed instead of seeking other treatment methods almost cost the young woman her life.
So, you can’t tell me there isn’t anything wrong with believing these things. New age practitioners should be held to the same standards as doctors in the traditional medical community. Alternative, homeopathic, or whatever, these techniques should stand up to the same scrutiny as other medical techniques. Otherwise, it’s a crime that these practitioners prey on emotionally vulnerable people, take their money, and give them false hope. That sounds like a lot of bad energy to me.
Energy, according to new age spiritualists, is a universal force that you can tap into. It creates energy fields and it can be balanced. It stems from auras that surround our bodies. These aura can be cleansed. This energy is believed to be the source of life, but it isn’t the kind of energy that physicists describe. Basically, new age practitioners have co-opted the word “energy” for their own use. And for some reason, this kind of energy isn’t measurable by an known scientific instrument. It’s everywhere but scientists can’t detect it. Think about this a minute. If we can’t detect this energy, how do we know that it’s there?
Energy is a key component in many pseudoscience practices such as aura therapy, reiki, rolfing, reflexology, and therapeutic touch. A pseudoscience is something that sounds scientific but isn’t. These practices draw on scientific terms to make them appear valid. Many concepts in science aren’t very well understood even by smart people. If a pseudoscience uses scientific jargon, it must be complicated and it must be real. Let’s go back to our example of energy. Energy is an important concept in physics. If a pseudoscience practitioner refers to a mystical vital energy then it must be real. However, as mentioned earlier, energy is the capacity to do work and it is neither positive nor negative.
After all this discussion, a new age advocate might concede that their practices aren’t meant to be scientific. Then they will say that there’s nothing wrong with believing in these things if they make a person feel good. I don’t agree with that statement. People will often turn to alternative medicines and new age techniques when they are in distress. If these techniques don’t work, then the person’s time would be better used pursuing other treatments. Not to mention, the new age practitioners are making money on their services, books, and videos.
I’d like to wrap this up by telling you about a student I had when I began teaching. She told me a story about what happened when she first discovered she had major depression. She told me how she was severely depressed and didn’t think her life had any direction. Because of her distrust in traditional medicine, she decided to visit a new age practitioner and have her “aura cleansed.” The aura cleansing didn’t do anything for her. Her depression worsened and she ended up attempting suicide. After that, her family got her into psychotherapy along with medication and she started to improve. I’m not sure how she’s doing now, but having her aura cleansed instead of seeking other treatment methods almost cost the young woman her life.
So, you can’t tell me there isn’t anything wrong with believing these things. New age practitioners should be held to the same standards as doctors in the traditional medical community. Alternative, homeopathic, or whatever, these techniques should stand up to the same scrutiny as other medical techniques. Otherwise, it’s a crime that these practitioners prey on emotionally vulnerable people, take their money, and give them false hope. That sounds like a lot of bad energy to me.
Lucky Numbers
Some people like to consult books that give importance to birthdates. The day of the week has special significance. So does the number of the month and the year. You can also assign a number to each letter in your name and then add them up to get a master number for your name. These are the basic premises of numerology. Numerology is a pseudoscience that claims to reveal things about our lives and to foretell events by assigning special significance to numbers. Different numbers or patterns of numbers are thought to influence physical events in different ways.
You can get numerological readings similar to astrological readings. Your birthdate and full name can supposedly tell you when to marry, when to invest, what profession you should choose, when to travel, etc. I often ask people who are into astrology and numerology how closely they monitor their lives with these things. I mean, if astrology and numerology profess to show us how we should live, then people should follow their readings as closely as possible. If you are an accountant but your reading tells you that you should be an artist, then you should change professions if numerology is correct. But it’s not that easy. That’s not reality. People don’t base major life decisions on patterns of numbers. It doesn’t make sense.
What is it about numerology that makes people want to believe in it? Well, it’s a combination of things. People want to make sense out of a seemingly chaotic universe. Randomness makes us uncomfortable. We want to believe that everything happens for a reason and that we have control over what happens to us. At the same time, we don’t want to be responsible for our actions and behaviors. If we follow numerology, then we don’t have to be accountable for the things that have gone wrong in our lives.
The problem is that people are selective in how they follow things like numerology and astrology. We can sometimes make readings “come true” through changing our actions. This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy. If the numbers predict a good outcome and it happens, then we can attribute our good fortune to numerology. On the other hand, if something bad happens, then we tell ourselves that we didn’t believe hard enough or that the cosmos are out to get us. This is the same as blaming the victim. Belief has nothing to do with whether an outcome is positive or negative. Belief can keep us motivated and give us comfort but it in no way determines how things will turn out. That’s just a fact of life.
A better course of action is for us to take ownership of our lives. This means owning our disappointments as well as our successes. When we live without the yoke of things like astrology and numerology, we truly become free. We can live for ourselves instead of based on how a book of numbers or star charts says we should. We can use our free will to make our choices instead of relinquishing it to people and books who profess to tell us how to live our lives. I’d rather do that then think everything good in my life was caused by patterns of numbers.
You can get numerological readings similar to astrological readings. Your birthdate and full name can supposedly tell you when to marry, when to invest, what profession you should choose, when to travel, etc. I often ask people who are into astrology and numerology how closely they monitor their lives with these things. I mean, if astrology and numerology profess to show us how we should live, then people should follow their readings as closely as possible. If you are an accountant but your reading tells you that you should be an artist, then you should change professions if numerology is correct. But it’s not that easy. That’s not reality. People don’t base major life decisions on patterns of numbers. It doesn’t make sense.
What is it about numerology that makes people want to believe in it? Well, it’s a combination of things. People want to make sense out of a seemingly chaotic universe. Randomness makes us uncomfortable. We want to believe that everything happens for a reason and that we have control over what happens to us. At the same time, we don’t want to be responsible for our actions and behaviors. If we follow numerology, then we don’t have to be accountable for the things that have gone wrong in our lives.
The problem is that people are selective in how they follow things like numerology and astrology. We can sometimes make readings “come true” through changing our actions. This is called the self-fulfilling prophecy. If the numbers predict a good outcome and it happens, then we can attribute our good fortune to numerology. On the other hand, if something bad happens, then we tell ourselves that we didn’t believe hard enough or that the cosmos are out to get us. This is the same as blaming the victim. Belief has nothing to do with whether an outcome is positive or negative. Belief can keep us motivated and give us comfort but it in no way determines how things will turn out. That’s just a fact of life.
A better course of action is for us to take ownership of our lives. This means owning our disappointments as well as our successes. When we live without the yoke of things like astrology and numerology, we truly become free. We can live for ourselves instead of based on how a book of numbers or star charts says we should. We can use our free will to make our choices instead of relinquishing it to people and books who profess to tell us how to live our lives. I’d rather do that then think everything good in my life was caused by patterns of numbers.
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