The date 9/9/09 was a special day. It will be the last time we have a symmetrical date for a very long time (at least a century). We've had a string of these symmetrical dates since the turn of the century (1/1/01, 2/2/02, etc.). The number nine holds special significance to some people. Three is often regarded as a significant number (the trinity, the three wise men, the three pigs, etc.) and nine is three times three. Nine is also the largest single digit number (Why that is supposed to be important I don't really know).
Numerologists say that the number nine is associated with forgiveness, compassion, and success, but also arrogance and self-righteousness (Again, I have no idea why). Mathematically, nine times any number gives you a number that added together gives you nine. September 9 is the 252nd day of the year which if you add together is 9. (Some of what I just mentioned was discussed in an article on Yahoo news called "Why 09/09/09 Is So Special.")
If you take your birthdate and add it together you get your special number according to numerologists. Say your birthdate is May 29, 1983 (5/29/83). You take the 5, then add the 2 and 9 from 29, and the 8 and 3 from 83. So, you get 5 + 11 + 11. That's 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, a person who's birthdate is 5/29/83 has 9 as their special number. (I randomly thought of this birthdate if you were wondering.)
So, what's my number? I was born September 3, 1969 (9/3/69). You add the 9 and the 3, and then the 6 and 9 together from 69. You get 9 + 3 + 15. That's 12 + 15 which is 27. Then you add the 2 and 7 together and you get 9. So, my "special" number is 9. Additionally, September 3 fell during the 36th month of 1969 and 3 + 6 from 36 is 9. Is this all a coincidence or evidence that my life is being guided by some supernatural force?
It sure would be cool if there was some special significance to the day I was born. However, it is estimated that somewhere between 300,000 to 500,000 people are born each day. That means that nearly a half million people share my birthdate. Now my birthdate doesn't seem that unique. Numerology can be fun to play around with but it has no bearing on the outcome of events in your life. Funny, I suddenly feel the urge to play SuDoku and arrange the numbers 1 through 9 in rows and columns...
Friday, October 30, 2009
Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight
Successful people don’t always win. They face setbacks just like everyone else. The key to success is not to give up. Life isn’t always friendly to us. We all face adversity. The measure of character is how we deal with trials and tribulations. It takes persistence and determination to follow your dreams. It’s easy to give up and take the easy way out. If you set the bar low enough, you will never be disappointed. But if you shoot for the moon you might hit a star and that ain’t bad.
We can all be emotionally and mentally strong. Inner strength takes resolve. It’s a matter of being grounded and figuring out what really matters in your life. Some things are worth pursuing and some things aren’t. You might want to chase dollar signs but there's no guarantee that will make you happy. The things that make you happy don’t have a price tag. That’s what makes life precious.
Every day is an opportunity to be a better person and to make a difference in other people’s lives. Zach Braff said something in the movie The Last Kiss that stuck with me – “You can’t fail if you don’t give up.” This might sound like sentimental wishful dribble but it’s true to a point. If you don’t chase your dreams long enough, you won’t give them a chance to come true. I’m also enough of a realist to admit that you might not always get what you want in life, but you might find that what makes you feel fulfilled is a lot different from what you think you want right now. Our dreams and aspirations change over time. Still, the quote is motivational and we all need encouragement to keep going from time to time.
So, like the Chinese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight” – if you get knocked down an eighth time then you need to find the inner strength to pull yourself up a ninth time and keep on going. Life is a participation sport. The people who keep on going are the ones who make a difference in the long run.
We can all be emotionally and mentally strong. Inner strength takes resolve. It’s a matter of being grounded and figuring out what really matters in your life. Some things are worth pursuing and some things aren’t. You might want to chase dollar signs but there's no guarantee that will make you happy. The things that make you happy don’t have a price tag. That’s what makes life precious.
Every day is an opportunity to be a better person and to make a difference in other people’s lives. Zach Braff said something in the movie The Last Kiss that stuck with me – “You can’t fail if you don’t give up.” This might sound like sentimental wishful dribble but it’s true to a point. If you don’t chase your dreams long enough, you won’t give them a chance to come true. I’m also enough of a realist to admit that you might not always get what you want in life, but you might find that what makes you feel fulfilled is a lot different from what you think you want right now. Our dreams and aspirations change over time. Still, the quote is motivational and we all need encouragement to keep going from time to time.
So, like the Chinese proverb says, “Fall down seven times, get up eight” – if you get knocked down an eighth time then you need to find the inner strength to pull yourself up a ninth time and keep on going. Life is a participation sport. The people who keep on going are the ones who make a difference in the long run.
Automatic for the People
Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all interact. This is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy. Basically, if you change your thoughts about something, then you will feel differently about it and you will behave differently as well. The same will happen if you change the way you feel about something or if you change your behavior. The three all interact. Changing your thoughts may be the best place to start. It isn’t that easy though. Why is it so hard to change the way we think about things? There are a number of reasons, but one that stands out is our tendency to invoke automatic thinking.
Automatic thinking is what we do when we don’t want to expend much mental effort. We rely on automatic thinking when we are stressed. Since our mental system is taxed when we feel stress, we take the path of least resistance. This means falling back on ingrained behavioral patterns and habits. Conditioned responses become our first line of defense when we are stressed. These responses may be positive or negative. Slowing down and taking a moment to react would probably be considered a positive response, while flying off the handle and losing control might would be considered a negative response. Our behavior comes as a result of our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change the way we act.
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) are the most damaging automatic thoughts. ANTS result when we say things like “You ALWAYS do such and such…” or “You NEVER remember to …” You need to be careful with these absolute statements. While it might be true that a person does something most of the time, it is highly unlikely that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something. Telling someone that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something can escalate an argument. People will often take ANTS directed at them personally, become defensive, and then communication breaks down.
This brings us to feelings. If you stop and think about why you feel the way you do about something that upsets you, you will find that fear is usually behind your feelings. If someone upsets you, you feel slighted by them. You might feel like you don’t count. That makes you scared. So, it’s natural to lash out with ALWAYS and NEVER statements. However, invoking ANTS won’t solve your problems. If you stop and consider the thoughts behind your feelings, and you eliminate those nasty ANTS, you will find that you can keep your emotions in check better and start responding to people differently. ANTS can create a lot of problems. You will become a more positive person and have better interpersonal relationships if you get rid of them.
Automatic thinking is what we do when we don’t want to expend much mental effort. We rely on automatic thinking when we are stressed. Since our mental system is taxed when we feel stress, we take the path of least resistance. This means falling back on ingrained behavioral patterns and habits. Conditioned responses become our first line of defense when we are stressed. These responses may be positive or negative. Slowing down and taking a moment to react would probably be considered a positive response, while flying off the handle and losing control might would be considered a negative response. Our behavior comes as a result of our thoughts. When we change our thoughts, we change the way we act.
Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) are the most damaging automatic thoughts. ANTS result when we say things like “You ALWAYS do such and such…” or “You NEVER remember to …” You need to be careful with these absolute statements. While it might be true that a person does something most of the time, it is highly unlikely that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something. Telling someone that they ALWAYS or NEVER do something can escalate an argument. People will often take ANTS directed at them personally, become defensive, and then communication breaks down.
This brings us to feelings. If you stop and think about why you feel the way you do about something that upsets you, you will find that fear is usually behind your feelings. If someone upsets you, you feel slighted by them. You might feel like you don’t count. That makes you scared. So, it’s natural to lash out with ALWAYS and NEVER statements. However, invoking ANTS won’t solve your problems. If you stop and consider the thoughts behind your feelings, and you eliminate those nasty ANTS, you will find that you can keep your emotions in check better and start responding to people differently. ANTS can create a lot of problems. You will become a more positive person and have better interpersonal relationships if you get rid of them.
Light's On, Nobody's Home
Are you conscious right now? What about a second ago? Consciousness is a weird thing. It’s something that most people probably don’t pay attention to much. It enables us to do all the things we do. We use consciousness when we see, feel, talk, think, wish, and wonder but a lot of the time we aren’t even aware of it. If you stop and ask yourself if you are conscious you will inevitably say you are. But what about the moment before you asked? Were you conscious then?
This all brings into question how aware we are of our lives. We can drive to the store and think about other things while we are driving. Then, instead of driving to the store, we automatically take the road that leads us home. How does this happens? Aren’t we in control of our actions? Clearly, consciousness can be divided and altered but there’s still somebody at home inside, right? Right???
Well, let’s see… Say you open your refrigerator door. The light turns on when you open the door. Then you close the door. What happens to the light after the door is closed? Does the light turn off or does it stay on? So you try opening the door real quick. Maybe you can catch the light off. You do it real fast. The light is on. Now you close the door again. Is the light still on? Quick! Open the door! The light is on. You could do this all day. One of these times you will catch the light off. Or will you?
Now, a clever person might say that you could check to see whether the light goes off by installing a video camera inside the refrigerator, but that’s not the intent of what I’m talking about here. Opening the door to check if the light is on is the same as asking yourself if you are conscious. You ask yourself, “Am I conscious?” You tell yourself, “Yes I am.” Every time you ask and answer you confirm that you are conscious. This is all good but what about when you aren’t asking the question? Are you conscious then?
It is in this way that consciousness is an illusion. We don’t often pay much attention to what we are doing. We go on automatic pilot. We go through the motions of our lives. This might lead you to ask who is calling the shots if you can do things with such little awareness. Are you in control of what you do? (for more on this, see my previous blog called "Who’s Calling the Shots?"). To alleviate this situation, we can take a cue from Zen Buddhism.
Zen Buddhism suggests that living optimally means being present to the moment. This means taking in what you are doing at a particular time without thinking about something you did in the past or something you want to do in the future. Just being in the moment. Let go of the past and don’t fret about the future. By living in the moment, you will be aware that “your light is on,” that you are conscious. The problem is that this kind of awareness doesn’t come naturally.
We can become more aware just by reminding ourselves during the day to be more aware. We can slow down and notice the little things. We can even become more aware through meditation. Consciousness is amazing, but it has a cost. The cost is that we don't like to expend much mental effort. So, we “turn the light off” when the door is closed. The only way to counter this is to be present to the moment. Are you conscious now?
This all brings into question how aware we are of our lives. We can drive to the store and think about other things while we are driving. Then, instead of driving to the store, we automatically take the road that leads us home. How does this happens? Aren’t we in control of our actions? Clearly, consciousness can be divided and altered but there’s still somebody at home inside, right? Right???
Well, let’s see… Say you open your refrigerator door. The light turns on when you open the door. Then you close the door. What happens to the light after the door is closed? Does the light turn off or does it stay on? So you try opening the door real quick. Maybe you can catch the light off. You do it real fast. The light is on. Now you close the door again. Is the light still on? Quick! Open the door! The light is on. You could do this all day. One of these times you will catch the light off. Or will you?
Now, a clever person might say that you could check to see whether the light goes off by installing a video camera inside the refrigerator, but that’s not the intent of what I’m talking about here. Opening the door to check if the light is on is the same as asking yourself if you are conscious. You ask yourself, “Am I conscious?” You tell yourself, “Yes I am.” Every time you ask and answer you confirm that you are conscious. This is all good but what about when you aren’t asking the question? Are you conscious then?
It is in this way that consciousness is an illusion. We don’t often pay much attention to what we are doing. We go on automatic pilot. We go through the motions of our lives. This might lead you to ask who is calling the shots if you can do things with such little awareness. Are you in control of what you do? (for more on this, see my previous blog called "Who’s Calling the Shots?"). To alleviate this situation, we can take a cue from Zen Buddhism.
Zen Buddhism suggests that living optimally means being present to the moment. This means taking in what you are doing at a particular time without thinking about something you did in the past or something you want to do in the future. Just being in the moment. Let go of the past and don’t fret about the future. By living in the moment, you will be aware that “your light is on,” that you are conscious. The problem is that this kind of awareness doesn’t come naturally.
We can become more aware just by reminding ourselves during the day to be more aware. We can slow down and notice the little things. We can even become more aware through meditation. Consciousness is amazing, but it has a cost. The cost is that we don't like to expend much mental effort. So, we “turn the light off” when the door is closed. The only way to counter this is to be present to the moment. Are you conscious now?
Based on a True Story
From time to time you will see a movie that is supposed to be based on true stories. Some horror movies that claim to be based on true events include The Exorcist, The Amityville Horror, The Entity, An American Haunting, and The Haunting in Connecticut. However, the validity of these stories is disputed. Most of them are based on anecdotal evidence. There’s a big difference between a movie being based on a “true story” and one that is based on something that really happened. Huh? Doesn’t "true" mean it actually happened? Not necessarily.
Any story can be considered a “true” story because it’s a story. It's a story someone read or heard about. Whether the events in the story actually happened is another matter entirely. Hollywood doesn’t say “Based on a True, Verifiable, Documented, Undisputable Story” because they could get in legal trouble.
There have been a number of horror movies loosely based on the lives of serial killers. That’s one thing. Those movies take actual people and fashion stories about them. Movies based on supposed demon possessions or hauntings are another matter. Wes Craven reportedly based A Nightmare on Elm Street on a story he read about Samoan kids who had bad nightmares and supposedly died from heart failure as a result of sleep deprivation. Even if that story is true, it sure doesn’t make Feddy Krueger real. It doesn’t mean that evil spirits can taunt you and torture you in your dreams.
Movies that are “inspired” by actual events are just that, they are only inspired by them. Anyone can put the tag “Based on a True Story” or “Inspired by Actual Events” at the beginning of a movie. These tags in no way mean that the movie you see is a detail by detail re-telling of an actual event. It’s Hollywood people. Hollywood isn’t interested in making documentaries that show both sides of an issue (and neither is Michael Moore for that matter). Hollywood is peddling entertainment. The producers, directors, writers, etc. want people to see these movies so they can all get rich and have expensive beach houses in Malibu.
While I was writing this blog, I read some forum postings on a few movie review sites about horror movies “based on a true story.” The people who challenged the idea that exorcisms, hauntings, and paranormal activities really happen were told they were too skeptical. One guy kept saying that he saw a ghost so that proves that the hauntings in these movies were factual. First, you can never be too skeptical when it comes to the verifying whether some supernatural thing happened or not. If we are seeking the truth, then skepticism should be encouraged, not disparaged. Secondly, even if someone saw an actual ghost, that in no way proves that all the hauntings shown in movies are based on fact. You can’t generalize from one instance.
The real problem with saying that since you saw a ghost means that ghosts exist is that it’s anecdotal. I could say I saw there’s a three-headed monster in my closet but you don’t know if I’m telling the truth or not. If you insist on seeing the three-headed monster, I could say that it’s invisible and only I can see it. Even if the three-headed monster really did exist, it isn’t proof for the existence of four-headed monsters, ghosts, demon possession, foretelling the future, or any other wild paranormal claim. Be smart people. The next time you see a horror movie that has the tag “Based on a True Story” at the beginning, just know that it may have been based on a story someone read or heard about, but that’s where truth and fact end for the next 90 minutes.
Any story can be considered a “true” story because it’s a story. It's a story someone read or heard about. Whether the events in the story actually happened is another matter entirely. Hollywood doesn’t say “Based on a True, Verifiable, Documented, Undisputable Story” because they could get in legal trouble.
There have been a number of horror movies loosely based on the lives of serial killers. That’s one thing. Those movies take actual people and fashion stories about them. Movies based on supposed demon possessions or hauntings are another matter. Wes Craven reportedly based A Nightmare on Elm Street on a story he read about Samoan kids who had bad nightmares and supposedly died from heart failure as a result of sleep deprivation. Even if that story is true, it sure doesn’t make Feddy Krueger real. It doesn’t mean that evil spirits can taunt you and torture you in your dreams.
Movies that are “inspired” by actual events are just that, they are only inspired by them. Anyone can put the tag “Based on a True Story” or “Inspired by Actual Events” at the beginning of a movie. These tags in no way mean that the movie you see is a detail by detail re-telling of an actual event. It’s Hollywood people. Hollywood isn’t interested in making documentaries that show both sides of an issue (and neither is Michael Moore for that matter). Hollywood is peddling entertainment. The producers, directors, writers, etc. want people to see these movies so they can all get rich and have expensive beach houses in Malibu.
While I was writing this blog, I read some forum postings on a few movie review sites about horror movies “based on a true story.” The people who challenged the idea that exorcisms, hauntings, and paranormal activities really happen were told they were too skeptical. One guy kept saying that he saw a ghost so that proves that the hauntings in these movies were factual. First, you can never be too skeptical when it comes to the verifying whether some supernatural thing happened or not. If we are seeking the truth, then skepticism should be encouraged, not disparaged. Secondly, even if someone saw an actual ghost, that in no way proves that all the hauntings shown in movies are based on fact. You can’t generalize from one instance.
The real problem with saying that since you saw a ghost means that ghosts exist is that it’s anecdotal. I could say I saw there’s a three-headed monster in my closet but you don’t know if I’m telling the truth or not. If you insist on seeing the three-headed monster, I could say that it’s invisible and only I can see it. Even if the three-headed monster really did exist, it isn’t proof for the existence of four-headed monsters, ghosts, demon possession, foretelling the future, or any other wild paranormal claim. Be smart people. The next time you see a horror movie that has the tag “Based on a True Story” at the beginning, just know that it may have been based on a story someone read or heard about, but that’s where truth and fact end for the next 90 minutes.
What Comes Around
Awhile ago I wrote a blog called the Karma Connection. This is a sequel to that one.
Sometimes when somebody does something bad to us we say that they are going to get theirs. We like to think that what comes around goes around. That makes us feel better. There really is no guarantee that someone will get their comeuppance. It’s like gambling. If you cheat someone and get away with it, that doesn’t mean you will get away with it a second time. Sure, if someone keeps cheating, it seems like they will eventually get caught, but the fact remains that each event is statistically mutually exclusive. This means that the probability of getting caught each time is independent of the last time they cheated someone. The things that normally bring somebody down are sloppy behavior and a big mouth.
You can’t control other people’s behavior. If someone blabs, another person may decide they want to even the score. That’s something a scammer can’t control. The bottom line is that most people who habitually lie, cheat, and steal eventually get sloppy and that’s what brings them down. It’s not that intelligent people don’t lie, cheat, and steal. Some of them do these things very well. It’s the hubris, pride, and arrogance of scammers that leads to their demise. A lot of these folks are proud of their behavior and they let other people know about it. Professional cheats and grift artists know that they need to keep a low profile. That means keeping their mouth shut.
Anyway, the intent of this blog isn’t to instruct you how to cheat people – it’s to get across the idea that some people will get caught and some people won’t. The mental state of scammers is also something to consider. A lot of them are extremely narcissistic. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s not their fault that they take advantage of other people. They are victims themselves. You’ve probably run across people like this. The belief that guilt will get to them is unfounded. These folks have such intricate defense mechanisms that years of therapy might not even break down their web of rationalizations.
So, the idea that what goes around comes around may not hold for all people. Some people may not get caught. Wishing that these people will wake up one day with remorse in their hearts is also unfounded. These folks are so mentally convoluted that guilt and shame may never pentrate their psyches. We would be better off learning how to avoid predatory people. We should learn from our experiences, forget these crummy people, move on, and not look back. Sure, it feels good to see scammers “get theirs” but they aren’t even worth the time of day. They may get theirs but by that time you will be on with your life, being a better and stronger person. That’s something worth putting thought and effort into instead of wishing bad karma on lowlife people.
Sometimes when somebody does something bad to us we say that they are going to get theirs. We like to think that what comes around goes around. That makes us feel better. There really is no guarantee that someone will get their comeuppance. It’s like gambling. If you cheat someone and get away with it, that doesn’t mean you will get away with it a second time. Sure, if someone keeps cheating, it seems like they will eventually get caught, but the fact remains that each event is statistically mutually exclusive. This means that the probability of getting caught each time is independent of the last time they cheated someone. The things that normally bring somebody down are sloppy behavior and a big mouth.
You can’t control other people’s behavior. If someone blabs, another person may decide they want to even the score. That’s something a scammer can’t control. The bottom line is that most people who habitually lie, cheat, and steal eventually get sloppy and that’s what brings them down. It’s not that intelligent people don’t lie, cheat, and steal. Some of them do these things very well. It’s the hubris, pride, and arrogance of scammers that leads to their demise. A lot of these folks are proud of their behavior and they let other people know about it. Professional cheats and grift artists know that they need to keep a low profile. That means keeping their mouth shut.
Anyway, the intent of this blog isn’t to instruct you how to cheat people – it’s to get across the idea that some people will get caught and some people won’t. The mental state of scammers is also something to consider. A lot of them are extremely narcissistic. They don’t take responsibility for their actions. It’s not their fault that they take advantage of other people. They are victims themselves. You’ve probably run across people like this. The belief that guilt will get to them is unfounded. These folks have such intricate defense mechanisms that years of therapy might not even break down their web of rationalizations.
So, the idea that what goes around comes around may not hold for all people. Some people may not get caught. Wishing that these people will wake up one day with remorse in their hearts is also unfounded. These folks are so mentally convoluted that guilt and shame may never pentrate their psyches. We would be better off learning how to avoid predatory people. We should learn from our experiences, forget these crummy people, move on, and not look back. Sure, it feels good to see scammers “get theirs” but they aren’t even worth the time of day. They may get theirs but by that time you will be on with your life, being a better and stronger person. That’s something worth putting thought and effort into instead of wishing bad karma on lowlife people.
Tips of the Slung
Sometimes when we talk the letters or syllables of our words get swapped. We might say something like “tips of the slung” instead of “slips of the tongue.” This kind of spoken slip up is called a spoonerism. It was named after Reverand William Spooner who reportedly made many of these speech errors during his sermons. People who speak languages other than English also make spoonerisms. What causes us to make spoonerisms?
Human speech production occurs at a rate of about 150 words per minute. Speech errors, such as spoonerisms, occur about once in one-thousand words uttered. Given the speed of speech, it is remarkable that we don’t make more speech errors. Linguists think that spoonerisms are caused by a breakdown in two linguistic sequencing processors, a phoneme processor and a word processor. Phonemes are the smallest units of sound in language, typically single vowels or consonants. The phoneme processor’s job is to assign the correct letters to words. Sometimes the phoneme processor transposes the first letters of a string of words which results in a spoonerism.
We aren’t exactly sure why spoonerisms happen yet. They might happen from speech processing fatigue or lapses in attention. Future research will hopefully shed light on what causes the phoneme processor to make mistakes. Although spoonerisms occur naturally, people sometimes use them intentionally for comic effect. You might say “I'm going to shake a tower” instead of "I'm going to take a shower" or “My sips are lealed” instead of "My lips are sealed." On that note, pass me the valted minegar for my chish and fips…
Human speech production occurs at a rate of about 150 words per minute. Speech errors, such as spoonerisms, occur about once in one-thousand words uttered. Given the speed of speech, it is remarkable that we don’t make more speech errors. Linguists think that spoonerisms are caused by a breakdown in two linguistic sequencing processors, a phoneme processor and a word processor. Phonemes are the smallest units of sound in language, typically single vowels or consonants. The phoneme processor’s job is to assign the correct letters to words. Sometimes the phoneme processor transposes the first letters of a string of words which results in a spoonerism.
We aren’t exactly sure why spoonerisms happen yet. They might happen from speech processing fatigue or lapses in attention. Future research will hopefully shed light on what causes the phoneme processor to make mistakes. Although spoonerisms occur naturally, people sometimes use them intentionally for comic effect. You might say “I'm going to shake a tower” instead of "I'm going to take a shower" or “My sips are lealed” instead of "My lips are sealed." On that note, pass me the valted minegar for my chish and fips…
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