The Best Offense is a Good Defense

Any sports afficianado will tell you that defense wins champoinships. This year’s Steelers are a good example. Another example is how the New York Giants defeated the Patriots last year and the Patriots arguably had the best offense in NFL history. If you watch baseball in October, the games usually come down to pitching. In sports, a good defense can shut down a potent offense. A similar thing is found with the way people cope with their mental life. There is mental offense and mental defense. However, that is where the analogy ends because mental defense can sometimes lead to more problems.

Mental offense can be thought of as anything that promotes action and personal growth. Some examples would be assertiveness, decisiveness, and confidence. Mental defense consists of any of the defense mechanisms that we use for coping with uncomfortable feelings. There are four basic categories of defense mechanisms. Each category will be briefly discussed.

First, there are defense mechanisms that help us to reorganize experiences in order to cope with reality. The most common ones are denial and distortion. Denial is the refusal to accept external reality because it is too threatening. Distortion is a mental reshaping of events to meet internal needs. Continuous use of these defenses can lead to serious problems.

Second, there are defense mechanisms that help lessen anxiety but when overused can lead to serious problem in effectively coping. Examples are projection and acting out. Projection involves shifting one’s unacceptable thoughts onto someone else. Acting out is an adolescent coping mechanism and involves outwardly expressing uncomfortable feelings through unacceptable behavior. Reliance on these defenses is seen as a sign that a person is emotionally immature.

Third, there are defense mechanisms that help us cope in the short-term but that can lead to long-term relationship problems when they are your sole source of coping. Examples are rationalization and displacement. Rationalization is the process of justifying one’s actions in a way that separates emotion from thoughts. Displacement is the redirection of uncomfortable feelings toward someone less threatening as a means of avoiding the uncomfrotable feelings. For instance, a mother who yells at her kids when she is upset with her husband is using displacement.

Finally, there are defense mechanisms which are considered the most mature and that enable us to fully integrate conflicting emotions. Examples are altruism, sublimation, and identification. Both of these defenses enable us to channel negative feelings into positive action. Altruism is the use of constructive service to others that creates positive feelings and satisfaction. Sublimation is the transformation of negative emotions into positive actions or behavior. An example would be playing music or painting a picture in a way that enables the channeling of the negative emotions. Identification is finding someone as a role model and modifying our behavior to be more like them.

So, some of our defenses can disort reality, some can lead to short-term coping, and others can enable us to channel negative emotions into positive ones. Distorting reality isn’t a good strategy, defenses that enable short-term coping can lead to long-term problems, and we can’t always find a way to channel our emotions constructively. However, if we can find suitable role models we can deal with difficult emotions by modeling the behavior of people we hold in high regard. With this in mind, we should surround ourselves with people we want to be more like and we should strive to be role models for the people we care most about (spouses, kids, friends, co-workers, etc.). When all is said and done, having good role models will give us the best offense for dealing with difficult emotions and situations.