That Little Voice in Your Head

Everybody has that little voice in their head. I’m not talking about hearing voices. I’m talking about how we think. Try to think about something without resorting to language. It’s hard to do. Our thoughts are typically in the form of a sentence or a sentence fragment. It is true that some of our thoughts are more like images or pictures, but mostly our thoughts consist of something that involves words. Psychologists call that little voice that guides your thinking inner speech.

Inner speech is something that develops around 18 months of age. It is also at this time that people start to develop a sense of self. A child at this age will typically be able to recognize themselves in a mirror. This is contrasted with an animal such as a dog that will bark at its reflection in a patio window. The dog does not have a sense of self and thus assumes that the reflection is another dog.

Inner speech serves a few different functions. When a child begins to recognize her own thoughts, then she can make the distinction that those thoughts belong to her. That helps create her sense of self. Inner speech is what makes us conscious beings. If we didn’t have inner speech, we would observe and react to the world without being able to think about what we were doing. Inner speech is also important for emotional regulation. If someone makes you mad, you might think to yourself that you want to hit them but then you can tell yourself that that isn’t a good idea. Without inner speech, we would lack impulse control.

Impulse control is very important for getting along with other people. However, it is something that is not highly valued in our culture. We are enamored with extreme anti-social behavior. The attention that people get for extreme behavior reinforces them to continue doing it. After enough exposure to extreme behavior, people will start imitating it. Often, people who engage in outlandish behavior will say that they are living beyond society’s conventions or that they are “out there” or “keeping it real.”

At first you will have to ignore your inner speech to engage in extreme behavior, but after awhile you will no longer have that voice telling you to stop. Depending on the situation, this could be good or bad. Not all outlandish behavior is destructive. Sometimes it is beneficial to cut loose. Ignoring negative self-talk can also help in overcoming shyness. But when we engage in a particular behavior at someone else’s expense, we should ask ourselves if we should be doing whatever it is that we are doing. The next time that little voice in your head tells you not to do something, you might want to take pause and listen to it.