You Gotta Laugh!

Time to change topics. You’ve been getting a lot of my psych musings lately. I want to talk about dating a little. People don’t want to seem shallow and say that all they care about is looks, but dating initially starts with interpersonal attraction. That’s what leads people to each other. So, assuming that both people are attracted to each other, what else is important? Usually people will say that personality is the feature they value the most. However, the one thing that trumps everything is a sense of humor. You don’t have to be fit or smart or have a lot of money if you can make people laugh. Humor can help break the ice. We like to have a good time when we are with the people we are dating. I’ve dated women who have laughed at everything I say and others who don’t get my sense of humor at all. Personally, I like someone more in the middle. It’s kind of weird if a person thinks everything you say is funny and likewise it’s not good if they don’t think you are funny at all.

Humor is subjective. What one person thinks is funny might not be funny to someone else. A lot of humor is basically at someone else’s expense. We like to poke fun at other people. Sometimes, we like to make fun of ourselves. That shows we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Women like to be teased, too. It’s all part of the bantering and flirting that goes on when two people are getting to know each other. Having fun is important. There are enough problems in the world. Dating should be a respite from the concerns we have that weigh on our minds. This isn’t to say that you can’t discuss real issues when you are dating or that eventually you may turn to more important matters as the relationship progresses. You just have to keep in mind that one of the big reasons someone will want to continue seeing you is because they feel good being with you.

Unless you get into a long-term relationship we will find ourselves without a partner from time to time. It may be more important than any other time to laugh when you are single. You have to keep a positive attitude and not let the little things get you down. Then when you do start dating you don’t have to switch gears and think now I need to make this person laugh. Humor is the great equalizer. Sometimes you see real average guys with women who are drop dead gorgeous and you can’t help wonder what they see in them. If a guy can make a woman laugh, nothing else matters. Humor trumps everything. Whatever you do, you gotta laugh!